The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
