im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We left an ass print on the piano.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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