Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
