I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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