The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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