carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
