I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
