there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
