I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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