she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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