Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize