i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
