people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
