Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize