last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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