there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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