honey bunches of taint.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize