I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize