You really coming over, don't trick.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
