So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize