Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you will always have a special place in my vag
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
