I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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