my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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