it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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