Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
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