Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
