Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
