I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
