Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize