She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
