Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
