Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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