Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
