Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
