turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
