oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
