I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize