i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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