She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
