Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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