You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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