hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I CAN MOONWALK!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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