HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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