i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
