I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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