Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
