You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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