We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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