I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
