its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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