Do you still have your period?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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