i may or may not be watching the land before time
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
