you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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