I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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