it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
