doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
