I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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