Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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