you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
