Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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