I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
