Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
