why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Is it penis luge time yet?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
